Sunday, July 6, 2008

It's time to move forward.

It's time to move forward. Wow, I mean that in so many more ways than just one. Inside I feel as if I am moving forward and moving on from despair, grief, heartache and confusion. I feel reconciled. Even more now than six months ago. I don't feel like there are anymore homosexuality and God questions to have answered. I have peace. It's time, time to move on, press on, pack my bags, move out of the closet, pressing in and getting down to my Father's business. On that note, there is still much to do........

As one of the last times we will be spending some time together for awhile, me, Michelle, the girls, my Mother, Brother and second cousin, who is like a niece to me, will spend the day at Six Flags riding the rides that make you feel young again or just sick. Then Wed. we will be off to Michigan for 10 vacation, me, Michelle and the girls! Our first family vacation and perhaps even our last one for awhile.

I know, Michigan may seem to be a strange place to go on vacation, however they are having diversity family days in a small, charming town which sits along the beautiful shore of Lake Michigan. I'm looking forward to it. Prior to living here in good ole' Missouri, AKA Missoura, I lived in Michigan for 15 years, so it will be good to visit with a few friends and dive in to all the planned activities with the kids throughout the week.

Then when we come home, we will continue on with the adventure of painting, sorting, packing and cleaning in between taking the girls to horse camps, softball and tee ball practices and games, all to be done, completed and come to an end by July 31st. That is the day we move. Seminary, here we come. A new city, a new home, new faces, a new church and new opportunities.

There is much to do and of course, we don't have as much done as I would like us too. Michelle, being the more calmer one, assures me that we will get everything done by the 31st. I'm skeptical......but always hopeful.

I'm really excited about the upcoming changes in our lives. I see some wonderful opportunities coming up around the corner. Do I know what they are? No, not so much. But it's ok, I feel it. Do you ever just feel when God is about to do some stuff? Yeah, it's exciting.

It has been an amazing journey thus far. Just to watch the way things have come together the way they have amazes me. The most recent event has been the decision to sell the house or rent it. Now we all know the housing market isn't that fabulous right now and with that being the case, we decided to rent the house for now. Bare with me for a moment, because I'm going to talk about a few of our animals only because they tie hand and hand. We have two older dogs, a lab and a husky that we have needed to find homes for. We have been running out of options (good options) and we were becoming concerned. Until it happened. Some good folks who have a big family needed a big house to rent and said it would be fine for the two dogs to stay with the house.

Wow! I thought....."Who does that? " as I smile and thank the Lord.

Anyway, things have been coming together without a push and we are on our way.

However, for the time being, with much to do and very little time to do it, I won't be posting anything for awhile......I don't think. ;) However, I will still be visiting my favorite places, dropping a line or two to you. When things settle down, I'm sure I will have much to say. Until then, I ask that you pray for us as we take another step forward in this awesome journey with God.

Be blessed and.........May your cup be so full that love overflows from you on to the person.


flayed Hypatia said...

You go girl! I am so excited to see what will come up for you. Have a great vacation, and may the rest of the summer be filled with peace.

Hidden in Christ said...

"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." isaiah 43:19

YOU GO GIRL!!! here's to newness!

Anonymous said...

Steph, Isn't it wonderful to be happy in your own skin? I am so happy that you have the piece and assurance that can only come from God.

Ten days? What will I ever do without my internet friend to keep me grounded? :( I'll miss ya sisterfriend but have a great time.

Wow so much going on. I don't envy you right now. I moved last Aug. and shamed to say that I still have boxes unpacked. But I will keep you and Michelle and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Oh and I am very happy the renters are dog people.

Take care and have fun, Kelli

Anonymous said...

Beautiful to see how things change and grow! Thank you for all you have shared... and look forward to more you may share from your journey forward!!

Stephanie said...


Thank you so much for all your love, excitement and encouragement. Y'all are awesome.

Spinning said...

...that make you feel young again or just sick.


Hope you have a great time, Steph!

- e2tc (aka Spinning)

Spinning said...

[smacks forehead]

Steph, d'oh! I meant to also wish you all the very best with all these big changes that are coming... lots of challenges there, for sure.

Enjoy your vacation, and I sincerely hope you're able to avoid the rides that would make you feel sick. ;-)

- e2tc

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your blog. I only recently found it when you responded to one of my posts. I've read it "cover to cover". I also find, like others mentioned, that you have represented my thoughts and feelings so well. I particularly liked your reference to falling back into old habits. It is always funny that I find these writings as I am struggling with the very thing someone is writing about. If that isn't God working, I don't know what is. As I am wrestling with trying to reconcile my faith and my sexuality, I'm also trying to figure out if I'm ever going to be released from my marriage in a way that is not destructive to all in its path. And for whatever reason, it has come down hard over the past six months and I've found myself returning to some of my self destructive behaviour. While I'm sorry you went through it, it does help to know that this seems to be how some of us cope and I'm not all that different from others who have been where I am after all. That is strangely of comfort to me. What I wouldn't give to tell the person I love most in this world how much love them! You are so very, very blessed and I rejoice with you in your happiness. Keep writing. I'll be reading.

Stephanie said...

e2tc-You make me laugh. Thanks for the warm wishes!

Hope-Thanks for dropping by, it's good to hear from you.

"I'm also trying to figure out if I'm ever going to be released from my marriage in a way that is not destructive to all in its path."

I know exactly what you mean. That was one of my biggest concerns and I often wondered the same thing with Michelle. Things unfolded in way I never really imagined.

What looked like destruction to me in the beginning actually proved to be something completely different as everything unfolded.

You're right, I am so very blessed. All of this is more than I could have ever dremed of.

This journey has been incredible. I'm always suprised at what I find when I look just a little deeper and push in just a little more.

I pray you continue to wrestle and be still all at the same time. Make sense? :)


David said...

I guess I sort of missed the connection that you were just on the other side of the state (Missouri) from us. How ironic that you were thinking about visiting Broadway Church even before I found your blog.

I look forward to hearing more from you as well as for your checking out the church blog.

Stephanie said...

Hey David,

Yes, I thought that was rather ironic myself. We may be in your area again some weekend and if so, you better bet that we will drop in!

Broadway Church said...

I found your blog through David from Broadway Church in KC. Great pictures from your trip! I trust you got moved and the dogs are fine with different people in their familiar place.

We'll look forward to you and your family coming to visit Broadway when you make it to this side of the state. If you happen to know anyone in KC who is struggling to find a progressive church, please send them our way.


Stephanie said...

Hey Carol, thanks for visiting. Yes, the dogs are doing good and the move has been made.....only breaking one bottle of soy sauce. ;)

I plan to give an update with more details very soon.

I will certainly keep you guys in mind over there if I run into someone looking for a prograssive church in KC. Not sure when we will get out that way but I'm sure we will someday!

Again, thanks for coming by and saying hi!

David said...

David from Broadway here again.

Since I last visited your blog, I have found out that I had a heart attack earlier this year.

It was an absolute shock to find that out from a stress test!

However, I am keeping a positive attitude due to my many sisters and brothers in Christ.

I would appreciate a few more prayers from the eastern part of Missouri . . .

Stephanie said...

Wow David, that's a lot. I'm sure that was a shock.

You bet I will keep you in my prayers.

Take care of yourself and hang on to that positive attitude!

David said...

After the heart cath, it was decided that my heart muscle was a little bit weak, but they did not put in a stent. And no bypass surgery will be necessary at this time.

Thanks to all for their prayers.