Sunday, April 6, 2008

An introduction

My name is Stephanie, I'm a Christian. I love the Lord, I want to serve Him with all my heart, my soul, my strength and with all my days. I'm passionate about serving Him, His people and His kingdom work. If one were to ask what defines me, I would have to tell them......He does. I am first and foremost, a Christian. A Jesus freak, a lover of the Lord. My identity is in Christ.


I am also a lesbian. A Christian who is gay. For any straight folks out there that are reading this and don't get it, that's ok. I didn't get it either. But circumstances and events have taken place in my life that have caused me to look deeper into scripture, into my faith and into my relationship with God.

The journey I have been on within the last year of my life has been, at times, painful, very confusing, exciting and exasperating. Sometimes, all at the same time. Much like being on a very long roller coaster ride.

I have fought against my feelings, I have questioned my faith, my beliefs, my morals and my character. I have been stripped like an antique piece of furniture getting ready to be refinished, I have wrestled with God and with His help, have fought against those not so loving voices in my head. The voices of doubt and condemnation.

Today and for probably the last week of my life, I have had more peace about all this than ever. I have hope. I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

I am beginning to share all of this with others for myself, in hopes to sort even more out and so I will never forget the great things God has done through this and in hopes that it will encourage others.

For anyone who is in a storm, a battle, a struggle to reconcile their faith with their sexuality, I pray for your strength and encourage you to hang on to the hand of hope, even when you don't think He wants to hang on to yours. He does and He is. Hang on tight. It's worth it.

3 comments:

bridgeout said...

Beautifully said Stephanie! It took me years to get to that place! So many voices want to tell me who THEY believe I am and whether I am allowed to love Jesus... but HIS voice I now hear above the din!
Peace to you!
Wendy

Hidden in Christ said...

it was so awesome finding you here in blog world! you and i have very similar stories and i can't wait to keep reading stuff you write! thanks for your sweet prayers for the rest of us christian lesbian gals! nice to "meet" you stephanie!

Stephanie said...

Hey Wendy- I'm sorry it took me so long to respond to your comment. Honestly, I posted it and forgot to respond. So sorry girl! Thanks for stopping by!

Peace to you too!

Hidden in Christ-Hey! Nice to meet you too! Thanks for stopping by! Hope to see you more!

Be blessed!